5 Tips from a Psychologist on Finding Peace In Chaos (When It Feels Like The World Is Falling Apart)
You know, life has this funny way of keeping us on our toes.
I originally wrote this post about how to find peace in chaos back in 2020, which was undoubtedly one of the most turbulent years of our collective existence. I wanted to write something to address the question “How in the world can we possibly find peace when it feels like the world is falling apart?”
And even though it’s four whole years later, the truth is that conflicts, natural disasters, and scary, concerning things are still happening in the world in ways that are difficult to comprehend, much less deal with. So much can happen at once that it all feels like too much to begin to process. What can we cling to when things feel hopeless?
As a therapist and someone professionally trained to navigate tough situations, even I find it all difficult to navigate. But one thing I know is, when things feel complicated, it helps to have a few concrete steps we can take to move forward. So, here are a few more practical ideas for what to do when things in the world just feel like too much:
1. Don’t focus excessively on the future you can’t control.
As I understand it, there are two parts to every storm. The calm center, known as the “eye of the storm” and the turbulent cyclone around it. Focusing on the scary and violent bits and fortune telling a negative outcome in the future when it hasn’t even arrived is a surefire way to feel overwhelmed and powerless. Sometimes even watching too much news is really unhelpful for our mental health. Instead, focus on the things you can do in the now.
Mindfulness meditation helps. Getting a healthy dose of perspective by being around kids helps. Art and creativity helps… or anything else you can get lost in that keeps you focused on the present.
2. Find a lifeline.
When I lost my brother, it was my friends' love and support that got me through the hardest parts. Human connections - and being open to receiving the love and support of others, it's like shelter from the storm.
Whether it's a quick text to a friend or even a cuddle with your favorite pet, when times feel tough don’t over-isolate. I know isolation can feel easier, but instead, cling to the people who make you feel safest (no matter how effortful it feels.)
3. Focus on adapting.
If there’s something that’s guaranteed in life, it's that things don’t always go according to plan. One of the strongest ways to build resilience (inner strength) is to practice your ability to adapt. Instead of focusing on what’s wrong and what can’t be done, try asking:
What is possible?
What solutions are available?
What resources do I have?
Who can I reach out to for support?
What’s another way to look at things?
Believe that within every hardship is a possible solution.
4. Be kind to yourself.
How do we treat ourselves when things get messy? So many times when things go wrong, I blame myself or give myself a hard time for not being better. I find that we are often extremely compassionate and patient with others, only to be quite cruel and impatient with the expectations we hold for ourselves. What an awful double standard!
Listen, things just aren’t easy sometimes. In fact, they can be really, really hard. And when we feel stressed, or when the world doesn’t feel ok, it’s even harder to think clearly and be the best version of ourselves.
It’s time for a reality check when it comes to have more realistic expectations for yourself. Walking though crisis can feel like crawling through mud, everything gets that much harder. Remember to check in with yourself and make sure that you’re being kind and reasonable.
5. Purpose: Shedding Light on the Path
When things get hard, clinging to our purpose guides the way, giving us direction and strength to persevere.
Some of my biggest heroes - Malala, Anne Frank, MLK Jr, their stories remind us that even in the greatest hardships, there is always an opportunity to do good, to spread love, to shine our light. Whatever you’re on this planet to do - whether it’s to love your family and friends, to start a business, to be a great leader, or anything in between - one thing I know for sure is that there is no tragedy that exists that can take away your power to do some good for the world.
- Dr. Therese 💜
BTW, my mission is help people love their lives so they never want to leave them.
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