Coping with Unmet Expectations: Navigating Disappointment and Grief
I hope you had a lovely Thanksgiving…
with so much going on in the world I wanted to acknowledge that you might have a lot going on too. We’re almost into the final month of the year and for me, it’s a natural time for self-reflection. So often I find myself feeling badly for all the things that didn’t happen for me in the past 12 months. I’m not proud of it, but I also know that some of you might be feeling the same way too.
If you're feeling the sense that time is running out for you to do all you set out to accomplish in 2023, you don’t have to be so hard on yourself.
Here are three things to help you cope with the differences between what you thought this year would look like, and the reality of how this year unfolded:
Acknowledge Your Feelings:
You’ve heard me say this a lot and it’s because it’s SO FRIGGIN’ IMPORTANT. The first step in coping with unmet expectations is to acknowledge and feel your dang feelings. It's perfectly normal to feel disappointed, sad, or even grieve over the goals and dreams that haven't materialized as you hoped. Allow yourself to feel these emotions without judgment. Remember that your feelings are valid, and it's essential to give yourself permission to process them. Get your feelings out on paper, share them with friends, listen to music that syncs with them - whatever you wanna do. Just get them out there.
Reflect on Your Achievements:
While it's easy to focus on what you haven't achieved, take some time to reflect on what you have accomplished this year. I’ll admit, this is one that I struggle with and I’m definitely working on! Even if your accomplishments aren’t 100% of what you originally had in mind, they still deserve recognition. Make a list of your achievements, no matter how small they may seem. Celebrate the progress you've made and the obstacles you've overcome. This reflection can help shift your perspective from what's missing to what you've gained and learned.
Adjust Your Goals and Priorities:
Life is crazy and unpredictable, and sometimes our goals need to be adjusted to align with the reality of our current circumstances. Take another look at your goals and expectations for the year, and ask yourself “Is this realistic and achievable?” Are there any that can be extended into the next year? Are there new priorities that have emerged throughout the year? Be flexible and open to modifying your plans as needed. Remember that change doesn't equate to failure. And being able to pivot is a sign of adaptability and resilience. By adjusting your goals, you can set yourself up for more feelings of success and fulfillment instead of feeling disappointed and let down.
It's important to remember that unmet expectations are a part of life's journey. They can be opportunities for growth and self-discovery. As we approach the end of the year, be kind to yourself, allow space for your emotions, and be open to the possibilities that lie ahead. You've made it through most of 2023, and that's an achievement in itself. Embrace the lessons, experiences, and personal growth that have come your way, and get ready to welcome a new year. I’m ready for a fresh start, hbu?
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