How to Get Comfortable with Being Seen
Does this sound like you?
You know you have something special to share, a passion or talent that lights you up and you know there’s others out there that feel the same way. But you were never really big on the idea of selling yourself. Maybe you’ve been taught to appreciate brevity. You’re in work meetings and you listen to everyone else talking but your default is not chiming in unless necessary. Some people seem to be natural born yappers but that’s not really your style. If you’ve thought about social media, it feels daunting or even a bit embarrassing, even the idea of it makes you want to run and hide.
Have you ever felt like you’re playing small? Like there’s this incredible, alternate universe version of you just waiting to shine, but something inside you keeps holding you back? I get it. Being seen can feel terrifying. What if people judge you? What if you’re not good enough? What if they don’t like what they see?
I’ve held myself back more times than I can count. Whether it was the school play in fifth grade, or hesitating to raise my hand in class because I didn’t want to come across as a know-it-all, I’ve regularly pushed down the braver, louder, more opinionated me so far below the surface even I sometimes forget she exists. Even now, I struggle at times with how to show up. How to figuratively step out in front and let people see me warts and all.
If the idea of being seen feels daunting, you’re not alone. But stepping into your light isn’t just about being visible to others or seeking attention; it’s about embracing yourself fully. What I know for sure is that the world needs more of what you have and when you push parts of yourself down, you aren’t the only one to lose - we all do.
Here’s some baby steps you can take if you’re ready to stop playing small:
1. Understand What’s Holding You Back
Before you can get comfortable with being seen, it’s important to understand why it feels uncomfortable in the first place. Ask yourself:
Do I fear judgment or rejection?
Am I worried I won’t meet others’ expectations?
Have I been told (explicitly or implicitly) that I should stay small or quiet?
Sometimes, these fears come from past experiences—critical comments, moments of vulnerability that didn’t go well, or societal messaging that encourages us to blend in rather than stand out. Acknowledging these fears is the first step in dismantling them.
2. Start Small and Safe
You don’t have to dive headfirst into vulnerability. Instead, think of “being seen” as a muscle you’re building. Start with:
Sharing a small piece of yourself with someone you trust.
Speaking up in a low-stakes environment, like a casual meeting or social gathering.
Posting something authentic on social media—a thought, a photo, or a piece of work that feels true to you.
Every time you take a small step, you build confidence. And over time, those steps add up to giant leaps.
3. Focus on Your "Why"
Why does being seen matter to you? Maybe it’s about sharing your story, building deeper connections, or stepping into your purpose. When your "why" is bigger than your fear, it becomes easier to take brave steps forward. Write it down, keep it somewhere visible, and remind yourself of it when self-doubt creeps in.
4. Embrace Imperfection
One of the biggest hurdles to being seen is the belief that we need to be perfect first. Spoiler alert: you don’t. People connect with authenticity, not perfection. That messy project you’re scared to share? Post it. The imperfect story you’re hesitant to tell? Say it out loud. When you embrace imperfection, you give others permission to do the same—and that’s where real connection happens.
5. Reframe Rejection
Let’s be honest: putting yourself out there means not everyone will clap for you. And that’s okay. Reframe rejection as redirection. The people who matter—the ones who truly see you—will appreciate you for who you are, not who you’re trying to be. Every “no” is just a step closer to the people, opportunities, and moments that are meant for you.
As the old saying goes “Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”
6. Celebrate Your Wins
Getting comfortable with being seen takes courage. Celebrate every time you step into your light, no matter how small it seems. Whether it’s speaking up in a meeting, sharing your art, or saying something vulnerable to a friend, each moment is a victory worth acknowledging. Keep a “bravery journal” where you jot down these wins to remind yourself how far you’ve come.
7. Trust That You’re Enough
At the end of the day, being seen isn’t about being “ready” or “good enough.” It’s about showing up as the person you already are—beautifully, authentically, and unapologetically you. Trust that who you are is enough. You don’t have to be anyone else to deserve your space in the world.
Therapy can be a great place to explore these questions and help you unpack what’s holding you back.
Being seen isn’t about grabbing attention—it’s about living fully as yourself and letting your light shine. Yes, it’s vulnerable. Yes, it can be scary. But the freedom, connection, and joy that come with it? Completely worth it.
So this is your reminder: no one’s forcing you to stay in the background but you. You’re allowed to step into the spotlight of your own life. Start small, show up authentically, and trust that you’re worthy of being seen—because you are. 💛