There’s a lot to love about the holidays—catching up with friends and family, cozy nights by the fire, and eating more cookies than we’d ever admit. But if we’re being real, the holidays can also come with a lot of pressure.

I’ve spent way too many December nights frantically wrapping gifts until past midnight, or sweating bullets over an oven upset with myself for how many cookies I thought I could reasonably bake in a too-short amount of time.
***My question for you this holiday season: Are you setting yourself on fire to keep others warm?***
From packed social calendars to unsolicited life advice from Aunties, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed or stretched way too thin. And if you’re someone who struggles to set boundaries with yourself or others (especially during family gatherings), this season can leave you feeling more drained than a phone battery at 2%.

So, how do you protect your peace without turning into the Grinch? It starts with setting clear, kind boundaries.

Here are five ways to keep your holiday spirit intact while prioritizing your well-being:

1. Set Boundaries Before You Go

Picture this: you’re about to walk into a holiday gathering, and you already know the exact moment Uncle Joe will ask why you’re still single or when Cousin Mary will suggest a new diet for you to try. Before you even set foot in the room, decide what your limits are. How long will you stay? What topics are off-limits? If you’re dreading certain conversations, have a go-to phrase ready like, “I’d rather not get into that, but tell me about your favorite holiday memory!” Redirecting works wonders, trust me.

2. Decline Invitations (Yes, It’s OK!)

Your time is yours, even during the holiday season. Just because your calendar is filling up with invitations doesn’t mean you need to say yes to everything. A warm, “Thanks so much for inviting me, but I can’t make it this time,” is all you need. Your holiday isn’t a performance review; it’s a chance to enjoy yourself. Remember: prioritizing your peace is an act of self-care, and it’s completely fine to pick and choose where your energy goes.

3. Keep Gatherings Low-Key If You’re Hosting

If hosting during the holidays makes you feel like you need a vacation after the vacation, simplify! The best holiday get-togethers aren’t about flawless table settings and three-course meals—they’re about feeling connected. Host a cozy night with hot cocoa and board games, or potluck it up so everyone contributes. The goal is to enjoy, not exhaust. And hey, paper plates are totally OK! (Who really cares about the plates anyway?!)

4. Have an Emotional Recharge Plan

Sometimes the holiday spirit comes with a side of family drama or social fatigue. If certain interactions are draining or triggering, have a mental game plan. Maybe that means taking five minutes to breathe outside or sneaking away for a mini dance break to your favorite holiday song. And if all else fails, a quick, “I’m going to refill my drink,” or “I’m going to the bathroom” can be your getaway card to step back and reset.

5. Create Your Own Traditions

It’s easy to get wrapped up (pun intended) in doing things the way they’ve always been done. But if those traditions don’t spark joy (sorry, Marie Kondo), make new ones! Maybe for you that means a very UN-fancy but oh-so-cozy pizza and holiday movie night, or going to a local watering hole instead of hosting drinks at yours and having to worry about clean up. You don’t have to fit into the “traditional holiday mold” to have a meaningful season. Find what makes your heart feel full, even if it’s not what everyone else expects.

Bonus Tip: Let Go of Guilt

Boundaries can sometimes come with a guilt hangover. You might worry that saying no makes you seem ungrateful or distant, but here’s the truth: those who care about you will respect your limits. Saying, “I’m doing what I need to take care of myself,” isn’t selfish—it’s essential. And remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup, but you can refill that cup with eggnog. Just sayin’. ;)

This holiday season, know that it’s okay to set boundaries, choose rest, and protect your peace. The goal isn’t to keep everyone else happy at the cost of your own well-being. The real magic of the holidays is in those moments where you feel present, happy, and connected—not just to others, but to yourself. So this year, give yourself the gift of kindness and self-care. It’s the best present you can offer yourself and those around you.

Wishing you a holiday season that’s full of love, laughter, and plenty of boundaries! ✨

How To Guard Your Peace This Holiday Season