3 Simple Research-Backed Tips for Enhancing Your Social Life and Making New Friends
Making new friends can feel daunting and overwhelming, even more so as an adult. Whether you're starting over in a new city, or just realizing you want more connection in your life, it's normal to feel a bit nervous or unsure.
Even if you’re usually super confident and outgoing, there are times when putting yourself out there can feel clunky and awkward. Since the pandemic lockdown, you may find yourself struggling with anxiety or shyness that you didn’t have before, or just find it hard to know how to get back in the groove.
When it comes to wanting more from your social life, you are NOT alone.
Here are 3 simple and encouraging ideas, backed by research, to help you take steps towards enhancing your social life and satisfaction.
Join a Club or Group: One of the best ways to meet like-minded individuals is to join a club or group centered around something that excites you. This could be anything from a hiking club, to a book club, to a cooking class. In a study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, researchers found that participants who joined a new group experienced an increase in social support, self-esteem, and a sense of belonging (3 things I think we can agree we wouldn’t mind having more of!) Not only could joining a new group give you a sense of purpose and fulfillment, but it could also give you the opportunity to connect with people who end up being your best friends. One of my favorite experiences where I made the most friends was when I joined a kickball team in my mid-20s. Even though I pretty much sucked at kickball, that wasn’t the point. We’d all cheer one another on, and then after games we’d grab some drinks. Over a decade later, some of the friends I made are still some of my dearest friends!
Volunteer: Volunteering is a great way to give back while also making new friends. When you volunteer, you're working towards a common goal with others, which offers the added benefit of helping foster a sense of camaraderie and connection. In a study published in the Journal of Health and Social Behavior, researchers found that volunteering was associated with higher levels of social integration and social support. Moreover, volunteering was associated with greater increases in social support over time, which could contribute to better health and well-being. Volunteering opportunities are vast and can range from working at a food bank, to reading to school children, to walking dogs at your local animal shelter. When I was in junior high I started volunteering at my local hospital, and I loved it so much I came back every week. By the time I was a senior in high school I’d volunteered over 1,000 hours, all while making friends and having a blast. The best volunteer opportunity is the one that makes YOU feel excited to come back again and again.
Say YES to invitations: It may sound obvious, but certainly one of the most effective ways to meet new people is to attend social events. (Because really, how can you expect to make friends if you never leave your house, right?) In a study conducted by researchers at the University of Kansas, participants were instructed to attend a social event and make conversation with at least one new person. The results showed that the participants who engaged in social interactions reported higher levels of well-being and life satisfaction than those who didn’t. So, the next time you receive an invitation to a party or event, try accepting it (even if you feel a little nervous) and instead of just talking to people you already know, challenge yourself to make conversation with at least one new person. Going outside of your comfort zone might be the key to getting the kind of social shake up you’ve been looking for.
Remember, making new friends is a process that takes time and effort. But by taking small steps towards enhancing your social life (hopefully in a way that feel fun and life-giving to you), you can improve your overall well-being and sense of belonging. And if you're struggling with anxiety or shyness in social situations, know that there are resources available to help you work through these challenges. If you haven’t seen it, be sure to check out my video on YouTube called “How to Make Friends As An Adult.”
Life is best when it’s filled with meaningful and fulfilling connections, but with the investment of a little time and effort, you’ll soon be on your way to filling your social cup in a meaningful way.
BTW, my mission is help people love their lives so they never want to leave them.
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