The Science of Joy: What Actually Makes Us Happy?
Let’s be real—the pursuit of happiness can feel like chasing a moving target. One day, life feels amazing. The next, you’re plagued with self-doubt and wondering why your mood tanked after scrolling Instagram or TikTok a little too long.
So what actually guarantees happiness? Is it money? Success? Finding your dream relationship? (Spoiler: not exactly.)
The truth is, most of what we think will make us happy… doesn’t. But don’t worry—science has cracked the code on what actually works. And I promise, it’s simpler (and more accessible) than you might think.
Why We’re Bad at Predicting What Makes Us Happy
Most of us are chasing happiness in all the wrong places. We think, “Once I get that promotion, hit that goal weight, or buy that house, THEN I’ll be happy.” (The name for this is destination anxiety.)
And sure, those things can make us happy—for a little while. But there’s this annoying thing called the hedonic treadmill—a fancy way of saying that we quickly adapt to new levels of happiness and then go right back to baseline.
Ever noticed how getting a raise feels exciting… for like a week? Then suddenly, it’s just normal again? That’s hedonic adaptation at work.
So if external achievements don’t lead to lasting happiness, what does? Let’s dive into the science-backed things that actually boost joy.
1. Connection > Everything Else
If you only take away one thing from this post, let it be this: Happiness = Relationships. Period.
The longest-running study on happiness (the Harvard Study of Adult Development) tracked people for over 80 years and found that the quality of your relationships is the single biggest predictor of happiness and health. Not money. Not fame. Not career success.
We are wired for connection. Deep, meaningful relationships—whether romantic, friendships, or family bonds—give us a sense of belonging and fulfillment.
How to apply it:
Prioritize friendships. Call or text a friend today just because.
Make time for in-person connection (even if you’re busy).
Be intentional about fostering relationships—quality matters more than quantity.
2. Experiences Over Things
Turns out, spending money can make you happier—if you’re spending it the right way.
Research shows that experiences bring us more long-term happiness than material things. That trip you took? That concert with your best friend? Those memories bring you more lasting joy than a new gadget ever will.
Why? Because experiences create connection, novelty, and stories we carry with us forever. Plus, we don’t adapt to experiences the way we do to objects—meaning their joy lasts longer.
How to apply it:
Spend money on experiences, not just stuff.
Plan little moments of joy—book a fun activity, explore a new place, or try a new restaurant.
Be present and soak in the experience (aka, less phone, more being there).
3. Movement = Mood Improvement
If happiness had a cheat code, it would be movement.
Exercise is one of the most underrated happiness hacks out there. Studies show that regular movement releases endorphins (your brain’s natural feel-good chemicals), reduces stress, and even works just as effectively as antidepressants for some people.
And no, you don’t have to hit the gym five days a week for this to work. A 10-minute walk outside can boost your mood right now.
How to apply it:
Find movement you actually enjoy (not what you think you should do).
Get outside—nature + movement = instant mood boost.
Move daily, even if it’s just stretching or dancing around your kitchen.
4. Gratitude Literally Rewires Your Brain
I know, I know—everyone talks about gratitude. But here’s the thing: it’s more than just a fluffy sentiment. Practicing gratitude actually rewires your brain for more happiness. If you’ve ever wished you could reach into your brain and fix something in order to feel better, gratitude quite literally alters your brain for the better.
Research shows that people who regularly practice gratitude experience:
✔ More positive emotions
✔ Better sleep
✔ Lower stress
✔ Stronger relationships
It trains your brain to focus on what’s good—which, over time, makes you naturally happier.
How to apply it:
Keep a quick gratitude journal (list 3 things you’re grateful for each night).
Express gratitude out loud—text a friend and tell them why you appreciate them (be as specific as possible.)
Notice small joys throughout your day (a warm cup of coffee, sunlight on your skin, a deep belly laugh). This also helps keep you mindful and not too stuck in your head, worrying about future things.
5. Purpose & Meaning > Momentary Pleasure
Happiness isn’t just about feeling good—it’s about having a sense of meaning.
Studies show that people who have a strong sense of purpose—whether it’s through their work, relationships, or personal passions—experience deeper and more sustainable joy.
Purpose doesn’t have to mean a huge life mission. It can be found in small, everyday things—helping others, creating something meaningful, or simply showing up for the people you love. For me, that’s helping people love their lives so they never want to leave them. What might it be for you?
How to apply it:
Reflect on what gives you a sense of meaning—what lights you up?
Align your time and energy with things that matter to you.
Look for ways to help others—giving is one of the biggest happiness boosters out there.
Joy Isn’t a Mystery—It’s a Skill You Can Build
Happiness isn’t something you find—it’s something you cultivate. And the best part? You don’t have to wait for some big life event or accomplishment to feel it.
The cheat sheet to being more joyful consists of 5 relatively simple things you can do:
✔ Prioritize relationships.
✔ Choose experiences over things.
✔ Move your body daily.
✔ Practice gratitude.
✔ Align your life with what matters most.
At the end of the day, it turns out joy isn’t in the big, once-in-a-lifetime moments—it’s forged in the little choices we make every single day.
So tell me—what’s one small thing you can do today to bring more joy into your life? 💛