3 Healthy Relationship Tips For Couples Working Remotely
For many of us, it’s already challenging enough having to navigate our health and well-being while working from home. What if you bring your relationship and your partner working right beside you into the mix?
If you and your partner have both been living and working in a small space together, I feel you - I really do. It’s not always easy trying to find distraction-free spaces to focus while working at home, let alone working elbow-to-elbow with your significant other. Despite the initial hiccups that may arise for couples working remotely together, there are plenty of benefits that come along with spending more physical time with and around each other.
Get this - in an April study investigating engaged and married couples co-quarantining, a majority of respondents reported strengthened relationships as a result of sheltering together. Although some couples reported feeling anxious, 68% had made it a priority to deepen their emotional connection and find new ways to spend time together.
Whether you’ve been working remotely together for years already or this is a brand new chapter for you both, here are 3 essential tips for helping you to achieve healthy relationship habits and communication while working remotely together:
1. Boundaries - Balancing Your Home & Work Life
The way boundaries are defined in a relationship can literally make or break a couple - boundaries include physical, emotional, time, sexual, intellectual, and material. Take time to identify what boundaries work best for each of you with each other, and with balancing the needs of work with your life at home. Don’t be afraid to speak up for the boundaries that you need. For example, while some couples prefer to designate separate workspaces at home, others may prefer working at different times or intervals. While some couples are ok with chit-chat throughout the day, others may need to create a boundary to be social at the end of the workday.
It is SO important that you both make a clear switch from work time to home time. While one of you might very easily close the laptop and switch off, the other may work longer hours or find it hard to disconnect after a long day.
Try to focus on new habits that enable switching off, such as closing your laptops and packing up your work things as soon as you finish. Depending on the size of your home, leave the room you’ve been working in to enjoy a different space after your workday. Change your clothes or shoes and really focus on creating separation between your work and home life with your partner. You might both have different ideas on how you can do this and you can work together to find creative solutions.
2. Communication
Healthy communication is a must in every relationship and even more so when you’re spending more time together working remotely. In a traditional office environment, you may have enjoyed a coffee break or two with work colleagues as means to connect and let off some steam. It’s also important to be intentional with your your partner about catching up and checking in.
One of the biggest areas of conflict that I’ve seen come up with couples is the division of household responsibilities. When the dishes and laundry are waiting to be cleaned, it might seem okay to assume that your partner with the less ‘demanding’ job takes over chores. This can lead to conflict not only around the household chores but also perceptions of each other’s professional roles. You’re seeing more of your partner’s work life than you usually would working apart in an office and it may influence your expectations about what they should and shouldn’t have time to do at home.
Having regular check-ins as a couple can help to settle any tension and misconceptions. Consider setting up a “touchbase meeting”: put some time aside once a week and discuss 1) positive feedback for one another 2) how you are each feeling, including anything that is bothering each of you and 3) potential solutions. Be specific, but also actively listen and be open to what the other has to say. Maybe you develop a schedule for chores or take turns cooking for one another? If you have dogs, why not schedule short dog walks into both of your workdays? Brief exercise outside is a great way to alleviate stress and encourage you both to talk it out.
3. Compassion
Let’s face it - there are going to be work days when either of you or maybe even both of you are wanting to pull your hair out, scream from the rooftops and ultimately run from your workspace. We all have our bad days and good days. Working remotely together means seeing more of your partner on either type of day and definitely requires increasing your compassion for each other.
While finding that work/life balance is so important, there are likely going to be days when work irritates you and suddenly everything at home becomes more stressful. In these situations, it’s important to be flexible with roles and responsibilities. If it’s your partner having one of those days - consider being the one to empty the dishwasher, make the coffee, tidy up the deskspace and turn down your background music. If roles are switched - consider making your partner aware of your stress as soon as you can (ideally start of day) and letting them know what they can do to support you.
You might feel like you’ve started a day off on a bad note, but it’s up to you how you respond to the stress and how long you let this bad day last. Having healthy coping strategies in place for yourself as well as the support of your partner can do wonders for both your work life and relationship.
Being stuck working remotely as a couple doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Once you’ve got your strategies and communication in place, you’ll both be better prepared to handle the ups and downs of life individually and together as a unified couple.
I hope that you’ve found these essential tips helpful and I’m sure each of you have your own unique strategies in place. Feel free to share some of your relationship tips in the comments below or message me with any questions!
To Your Health and Wellness,
Dr. Therese