One question to ask yourself to avoid regrets
In my therapy office, one of the topics that comes up time and again is the struggle to make the "right decision."
We have to make so many decisions in life, and things are so rarely black and white so it’s normal to wonder if we're always making the best call.
But here's the thing I’ve learned: there's almost never just one right answer. Life is messy, complex, chaotic, but also beautiful and surprising. And while we can't always control the outcome of our decisions, there's one question that can help us navigate the uncertainty with a little more clarity and confidence. (While it’s a general rule that I don’t give advice, I do love to ask questions to help people come to their own conclusions.)
It's a simple question, really, but also a powerful one:
What's the best decision for my future self?
Think about it for a moment. Instead of getting caught up in the whirlwind of possibilities or worrying endlessly about making the wrong choice, what if we shifted our focus to what truly matters: our long-term well-being and happiness?
Consider a decision you're currently facing, whether it's about your career, your relationships, your health, or any other aspect of your life. Now, imagine yourself in the future, looking back on this moment. What action would make your future self proud? What choice aligns most closely with the person you aspire to become?
In the here and now, I don’t want to go to bed early, save money, or keep my house clean. But when it comes to looking out for my future self, I know I need to do those things so she has the best opportunity for well-being.
By framing our decisions in terms of our future selves, we tap into a deeper sense of our values. We move beyond the immediate pressures and distractions of the present moment and connect with what truly matters to us on a soul level.
Of course, this isn't to say that making decisions becomes easy or that we'll never experience doubt or fear. Life is messy, and uncertainty is inevitable. But by anchoring ourselves in the intention of acting in alignment with our future selves, we empower ourselves to make choices that reflect our values, goals, and aspirations.
So the next time you find yourself at a crossroads, take a moment to pause and ask yourself: What's the best decision for my future self? Trust in the wisdom that lies within you, and remember that if we stick to what we values and look out for our future selves, there are a million ways to design lives we love - a million ways to succeed and feel fulfilled.
- Dr. Therese 💜
BTW, my mission is help people love their lives so they never want to leave them.
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